I need to loose half a stone anyone want to start running in the morning? Time to start the open water swimming too I feel!

Ow Ow Ow, Sufferfests Angels hurts like a b@$!%?d it’ll all be worth it!

Is furious! someone has bent the rim on the front wheel of my road bike. If I see someone doing that, I’ll kick the living sh1t out of them!

The Green Hornet is freaking awesome!

About to head home, turns out there ate big differences between sponsoring companies. How do you choose exactly?

Waiting for the train to go to warsash for the day!

I freaking love HIMYM! x

Watching “How I met your mother” I love it! :)

Thomas Alfred “Todger” Jones Doesn’t Need Your Precious “Army”

"Todger" is an old-timey slang word for penis. You can speculate, if you like, about where exactly Private Thomas Alfred Jones got his nickname — was it his enormous wang? Was he a dick to his fellow troops? Did he once kill a man with it, wielding it as a sort of makeshift flail? Sadly, we just don’t know that story. But we do know a better one:

Jones served in the British army during the Somme offensive, the single greatest loss of British life in the history of the Empire. On Sept 25, 1916, the British had captured the French village of Morval and were in the process of building trenches. Jones and the rest of his unit were digging in, still recovering from the battle they had only just finished fighting, when a sniper opened fire on them. Several men were wounded, but when one of the younger soldiers was shot through the head and killed, Jones finally reached his Hulk Quota.

The Rampage

Jones waited until his commanding officer wasn’t looking, picked up his rifle and sprinted off across the muddy, open ground toward the enemy position. He was in full view of the sniper, who put at least one bullet through Jones’ jacket while another passed through his helmet, slid down the back of his shirt and burned him all the way down to the waistband. During his mad dash he stopped and shot the sniper … as well as two members of the Kaiser’s Elite 32nd Douche Brigade who fired on him despite simultaneously displaying a white flag. Jones remained unharmed on his journey across the field, still completely alone, until he eventually reached the other side. You know, the side with all the German trenches. Full of Germans.

Undeterred, Jones leaped down and, firing from the hip with his bolt-action rifle, killed several of the enemy soldiers. When he came to a dugout, he picked up a discarded stick grenade and flung it in. Three German soldiers came tumbling out and surrendered. Jones took one prisoner who could speak English and used him, along with a few more stick grenades, to get the rest of the Germans to surrender. All told, around 100 (officially 102) Germans came out, unarmed, with their hands in the air and their urine on their pants. One prisoner saw the disadvantage that Jones had (namely that he was only one pissed-off dude essentially fighting a war alone) and tried to make a run for it.

Jones turned and casually shot him dead.

Luckily for Jones, a rescue party had come to retrieve his body. They wound up helping him round up his many, many prisoners instead … and presumably rigging up some sort of giant ball-supporting sling for the walk back to camp

In FRANCE, Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided
to commit suicide. He stood at the top of a tall cliff and tied a noose
around his neck. He tied the other end of the rope to a large rock.
He drank some poison and set fire to his clothes. He even tried to shoot
himself at the last moment. He jumped and fired the pistol. The bullet
missed him completely and cut through the rope above him. Free of the
threat of hanging, he plunged into the sea. The sudden dunking
extinguished the flames and made him vomit the poison. He was dragged
out of the water by a kind fisherman and was taken to a hospital, where
he died of hypothermia.
Taken from the Darwin Awards